Perfect
by Lady of the Phoenix
Summary: Even the 'Perfect Man' has his pains and his denials. Can he be pulled out of his selfdestructive spiral? Rated for suicideattempts and yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Did you know that I'm a big fan of the song Iris? I'm not a fan of the Goo Goo Dolls really, but that song just touches a human in a certain way, right? It's not just me is it? So, while listening to the song (which I have FINALLY gotten a hold of) I thought of how it might help get into the mind of my favorite Final Fantasy 8 character to write about… The mysterious Nida. And I've got to say, this song fits so well with any fiction that requires indecision.

Mini-Ramble: Have you ever noticed that if you type, or write, or say a word enough you start to doubt the meaning and the way to say it? I'm having that with 'perfect' right now. I hope that by the end of this story you will either A. Get tired of the word 'perfect' or B. See that the 'perfect-person' you know isn't that, not in their own eyes, and you cause them pain by thinking so.

Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm doing one of these for a first time. I don't own any of this junk except for the idea to throw it all together. Also, I don't claim that Nida's last name is Nomura, I merely use it because I look up to Tetsuya Nomura, despite how he is ruining Seifer's appearance in KH2 to make him look like a shining Eminem wannabe.

_**Perfect**_

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,

Or the moment of truth in your lies.

When everything feels like the movies,

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me,

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.

When everything's meant to be broken,

I just want you to know who I am.

--Goo Goo Dolls, "Iris"

In the eyes of others, Nida Nomura was, for lack of a better word, perfect. He had perfect grades, perfect style, perfect discipline, perfect follow-through when playing sports, a perfect eye for art, a perfect skill for magic, even a perfect attitude, if you asked others that is. In truth there was only one thing that was perfect about Nida… he was perfectly alone. He had no friends, no family, not even someone he could trust with all his sorrows and joys. He hated it when people called him perfect, even when it was a compliment. He was tired of perfect work, perfectly executed techniques, and most of all, being reminded that he was the 'perfect' boyfriend material. That one hurt the most, because he knew it COULD be right, had he the chance. But no one gave mister perfect the time of day.

The worst thing, probably, was that no one could understand it like him. No, everyone else went about their daily lives, spending time with friends, talking to family, flirting with random students and SeeDs. How could they understand it like him? The only one that even had the slightest chance had been lifted upon a pedestal, nearly worshiped as the second coming of Hyne…

There he was, in his only escape, the perfect place to hide from everything. Few people knew of this place… No, not few as in how many people knew the bridge of the mobile Garden, or how many people knew of the 'secret' place in the Training Center. This place was truly alone, almost all of the time. He'd only ever seen three other people from this place, Instructor Trepe, Headmaster Leonheart and Miss Rinoa Heartily. Even they didn't know that he could watch them from here, free from everything but the wind in his face. This place was the reason he always carried a com at his side, so that if someone ever needed him, he could keep his place secret.

From here, upon a hidden observation deck, he could see everything that felt real to him. The world was there around him, the wind in his hair, the sun on his face, and sometimes the rain in his eyes, washing away the tears. The escape could only be reached from the balcony on the second floor. There was a maintenance panel there, which, after a series of maintenance tubes that few but the engineers at Fisherman's Horizon knew of, led to the observation deck that Nida called his own. Over the years since his childhood discovery of the place he had managed to sneak a few things up here, like a small cot, an umbrella, some cameras and film and his guitar. Few people knew Nida played, and up here he could have his privacy to compose his music without being called the 'perfect' musician.

Now the male was sitting cross-legged upon the cot, tuning his guitar in the early morning sun. He knew that he would not have much time before he was scheduled to help Zell with a combat training class, and then he'd be tied to his own aviation classes all day, so he took advantage of what he had. For about an hour he'd been up there, watching the sun rise, cleaning his guitar, and just enjoying the beauty of light slowly coming across the land like melted butter. Slowly the molten gold reached his face and he let out a sigh of contentment. This could possibly be the closest to perfect he could ever be.

Sadly, his small piece of heaven was ruined by the sudden beeping of his com. With a resigned sigh the male put aside his guitar, his second love, and pulled the com from the small table beside the cot. The whole place was safe, as the observation deck did have a small, windowed shelter. It was amazing really. Nida could only assume that this place was once a hidden watch post for the mobile Cetra shelter, or maybe, due to the size, it was intended to be finished for a VIP, like the King of Cetra or something. It has that potential, and it's far away from everyone else…

"Nomura," he said into the com, faking a yawn.

"Nida?" the soft and familiar voice of the Headmaster came across clearly, cutting into the serenity of the world around him. "Where are you?"

"Outside," he lied easily. But was it a lie really? He WAS outside in the open air.

"Where outside?" Squall pressed.

"I'm floating fifty feet up in the air," the pilot said sarcastically.

"…" Nida could imagine Squall rolling his eyes in the silence.

"What is it?"

"Would you come to my office?"

"Of course Headmaster."

"It's just Squall…"

"I know."

"… Just get here."

"Yes sir," Nida responded before turning off the com, and somehow kept his anger in check.

Once upon a time Squall understood him. Both were lonely, and the loneliness was both self-inflicted and involuntary. It was their past, their present, their failures and successes that had caused them to become distant. Unfortunately Squall's ability with a gunblade had him sent upon a series of missions that lead to the man saving the world, while all Nida got was to pilot this Garden. Nida's name was forgotten the moment he was out of sight, but Squall was always in someone's mind. With a sigh the asian male set aside his guitar in its case and quickly traded his casual clothes for the SeeD Uniform he had brought with him this morning. Today was going to be a long day. Worst thing was that with Squall in the Headmaster's office, Nida couldn't even sneak down there the shorter way, via a lift that was hidden behind equipment and containers that Nida didn't know the purpose of. The reason? The lift stopped behind one of the panels of the  
Headmaster's office. Using that method too much, or with people around could get his place discovered, and it was the only haven he had.

* * *

Squall watched as the asian male entered his office, an unhappy scowl in place upon otherwise gentle features. Nida, Squall noted, was one of the few males in Garden that could truly be counted to have that graceful elegance that could even be called beauty. Others were considered 'handsome' or 'cute' or fell into the same category as Raijin, bumbling hulks with far too many muscles and far too little brains. Squall knew that Irvine fit into the same category as Nida, just as he did himself. It was amazing to the Headmaster that Nida seemed to have no relationships what-so-ever, outside of the Instructor-Pupil and Acquaintance categories. Nida was a slender five foot ten, give or take half an inch, making him about two inches taller than Squall, and bearing about the same body proportions. Where Squall had the stormy blue-gray eyes of his mother, Nida had a deep and piercing shade of emerald that betrayed the fact that his mother was probably not asian as his father was. On top of that the man had fair skin, neither pale nor tanned, and raven black hair to compliment it all. The Headmaster knew that under the flesh were muscles much like his own. While Nida did not handle the full weight of a gunblade, his halberd, a pole weapon with an axe head on one side of the top and hooks on the other side along with a spike at the top, was heavy enough to warrant muscles.

"You wanted to see me Headmaster?" he asked. His voice had that musical quality to it, making one wonder if he would have been better suited to the life of a musician rather than that of a mercenary.

Squall gestured to the seat across from my desk. For a moment the brunette could see amusement flash in those eyes. Somehow Squall thought that Nida envied his talent to speak without saying a thing. It had always come in handy for the stormy eyed male. The pilot sat and brushed an imaginary speck from his immaculate uniform.

"Nida," Squall began, not sure where to go from there. He was worried about Nida, and how the male would disappear for hours on end with no explanation. On top of that, the other man seemed to avoid letting anyone get close to them, as if he was afraid of being hurt, just like Squall had been.

Nida brushed a strain of hair from his eyes, worried at the tone that Squall was taking. This would not be a pleasant meeting. The pilot could almost sense the turmoil in his superior's head.

"Nida," he began once more, "I called you hear because…" Squall trailed off. Using so many words would surely put Nida on the defensive.

"Enough Squall," the asian said, already sensing the path this conversation would take if he allowed it to continue. "Not everyone changes. Not everyone is willing to, or has a reason too. I'm not going to change because your friends want you interfering with my life. Maybe there is no purpose in me opening up, no purpose at all. So let's leave it at that, _Headmaster_, and I can get back to my life. And please, for future reference, I don't like ANYONE poking their nose into my 'perfect' little life."

The angry outburst forced the first genuine shocked silence upon Squall that he had experienced since learning that Laguna Loire was his father. Before he could say, or do anything Nida had left the office, radiating enough anger to even keep Seifer away. In the resulting, and total, silence, the Headmaster leaned his head against his right palm in what Selphie had dubbed his 'thinky-face'. What was he supposed to do now?

* * *

Halfway through the day, after the class he had helped Zell with, and after most of his own classes were done for the day, Instructor Nomura had taken his lunch from the cafeteria and gone to the bridge. Few people, even Squall or Xu, were here during lunch, so he'd have the privacy he desired as long as no one needed him. No use in over-indulging in his personal get-away. Besides, now that the Garden was once more in its place on Balamb Island, what was the point of using the bridge in manners other than adjusting the balance or something?

Quietly the man picked his way through a lip salad and sipped at a bottle of iced tea. He wasn't really hungry; in fact, he hadn't felt like himself since he had blown up at Squall that morning. The whole incident had made his skin crawl afterwards, and he'd spent most of the day wishing to do nothing more than finally disappear or just melt away. After a few minutes of just pushing around food he put aside the salad and wrapped his arms around his raised knees. He didn't even hear the lift behind him move until the sound of boots on metal announced his visitor.

"Headmaster," he said politely.

"It's just Squall," the voice responded before the male sat across from him on the other raised section of deck, the one Quistus had claimed as her own during the war.

"Won't you join me?" Nida added under his breath.

"…" the scarred male did not reply right away. "I didn't call you down because the others asked me too."

This statement, issued so blandly, so calmly, startled the pilot from his anger. "Doctor Kadowaki?" When Squall shook his head the male was prompted to mention another name. "Former Headmaster Cid?" Another no. "Matron?" Still no. "The Disciplinary Committee?"

The final question actually brought a laugh from the stoic hero, "Not those three. But should I be suspicious here?"

"Of those three? Hardly, they are all bark and no bite now that you are Headmaster."

"Too true, but Seifer still has a bit of fight in him," Squall offered.

'Woah,' Nida thought to himself, 'This is almost a real conversation.'

"Who then?"

"It was all me," the brunette admitted. "I'm worried about you."

"Why worry? What is there to worry about in the life of 'Mister Perfect'?"

"The cynical attitude for one thing," Squall shot at him.

"Whatever," Nida shot right back, "To quote an age-old thinker that is."

"I'm serious. I'm worried about you Nida. You seem so drawn lately. You disappear to Hyne-knows-where for massive amounts of time. You are rarely even in your quarters at night even. You are training less, I can tell from your muscles, and you seem tired, a lot."

"Whatever," Nida said again, not sure how to respond. Did Squall actually watch him that much?

"Not 'whatever'," Squall growled before grabbing Nida's wrist. The Instructor quickly tried to pull his arm from Squall's grip, and failed. The Headmaster pushed his friend's sleeve back and looked with both amazement and little surprise over the white scars tracing over the delicate wrist and arm. "Nida…"

The pilot finally managed to free his hand from the hold of the shocked gunblade master. "Before you ask, it's none of your damn business!"

Squall knew when someone was defensive. "Why?"

The asian looked away.

"Nida," he said once more, his voice soft and thick with concern.

"Leave me alone Squall."

"You don't have to be perfect in front of me."

The simple statement, of truth maybe, struck deep in Nida's heart. "What do you know?"

"I know that I had to seem perfect for the world. Eventually I got to a breaking point you know. Broke all ties with Garden for two months, at least, and hid out at the Presidential Palace with my father." Nida remembered the incident well. The Garden had been in chaos for the first few days until Quistus and Zell took charge in Squall's absence. "And I imagine that you've been putting up with perfection for far longer than a few years."

The male could not reply. How could he? He was almost in tears, and he didn't want to cry.

"It's okay," Squall said, moving to sit right next to Nida. "It's okay you know. You don't have to be everything everyone else wants you to be. You could just be Nida for once. Tell you what, why don't you take the Rag 1 and go on vacation for a while? I'll handle your classes myself. I won't tell anyone where you went, as long as you keep me informed. No missions, no test making, no teaching, just you and the world. How does that sound?"

Tempting, but Nida couldn't say it.

"Go ahead Nida. Figure things out. I'll take care of things until you get back. Let someone else handle the burden for once."

Nida felt the shock of such an offer from the Headmaster, and almost felt embarrassed that Squall felt he would need such a thing. Still, it was too tempting an offer to refuse. "Yes sir," he finally said as he stood, gathering the remains of his lunch into his hands.

"I'll handle everything. You can leave in the morning."

The asian smiled and left Squall's presence. Twenty-four hours and he'd be free from it all….


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Yes, I am BACK! I'm on an update spree. Best of all? I have this story totally written. Downside? I don't update without reviews. See, I've already read the story now, so I don't NEED to update. I do it for YOUR benefit people!

You know the drill, italics marks the lyrics in this chapter. The song here is called 'Perfection'. I wrote it myself. Got lots of praise for the songs I wrote for this story actually.

2sidez-Samecoin: Thanks hun. You've popped up a LOT in my reviews lately. I loveth you.

Chapter 2

It didn't rain much here, but when it did, it was beautiful. Nida had had the luck to be here during that rain, but no smile had graced his features. Now he looked out at the rising sun as he listened to the music coming from the CD player at his side. The asian reveled in the solitude of the forced vacation.

_Heard a little story. They called it 'Perfection'. 'Bout a guy broken inside. And how no one could save him._

"I like this song," came Squall's voice behind him. The brunette took a seat on the edge of the cliff where Nida was seated.

_Started in his childhood. With parents who 'loved' him. They ignored all his bad deeds. Rewarded the good ones._

"Thanks," Nida replied emotionlessly.

"Whoever wrote it, they were really inspired. Wonder if this 'Perfection' guy was real."

_Then there were his teachers. Praised everything he did. Said he was a prodigy. A blessing from 'heaven'._

"He's real," Nida spoke, pain in his eyes.

"What makes you so sure?" the scarred SeeD asked.

_And even the kids at school. Envied his skills. Saw him as smart, as strong. And called him 'Perfection'._

"Because he is me."

"Everyone feels that way Nida. Even I do."

_It carried on for many years. 'Til few even knew his name. They knew he made them look bad. And hated him for it._

"Squall," Nida growled and then shoved the case from the CD into the other male's hands.

Squall inspected the section he was directed to. Under the title 'Perfection' was the writer's name: Nida Nomura.

"Nida," Squall gasped. "You wrote this?"

_Then he grew secluded. His mind grew deluded. Grew to fear what they called him. And shut it all away._

"Last year. My cousin plays for the band, and I wrote a few songs for them."

"I see. So this song is about…"

_Finally he broke down. And mourned his own life. Thought that death was all that's left. Then tried to reach it._

"Me," Nida said, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Nida… I…" the man stuttered, shocked.

_He cut deep in his wrists. And watched his blood flow free. Washed away with tears. Life draining in rivers._

"It is all true."

"Why?" Squall asked in shock.

"Doesn't the song explain it?"

_But someone found him. And back to life he's bound. Chains holding him forever. To his greatest pains._

"Xu found me, cast the cure to heal the wounds and save me."

Squall made a mental note to thank Xu.

"Doc agreed not to tell anyone."

And to yell at Kadowaki.

_That's the story of perfection. Poor guy still bound today. Still broken deep inside. And forever that way._

"She should have let me die."

"No she shouldn't have," Squall hissed.

"Don't act like you care Squall. All I am is a pilot and a SeeD."

_So here we reach the morale. And what I must tell you. Perfection is the worst curse. And can destroy you too._

"I do care!" Squall protested as Nida stood and retreated to his shelter.

"You lying bitch!" the SeeD shouted and turned on Squall. "You don't care and you sure as hell don't understand anymore. Go back to your Garden, Headmaster, and get the hell out of my face!"

Squall was left staring at the door that had been slammed in his face at the end of the rant.

* * *

Nida moved to the bed only when he finally heard Squall's footsteps moving towards what he assumed was his transport. The asian youth had cried silently when Squall had stood outside, pounding on the door and demanding to be let in. He knew he'd said too much, but he wanted Squall to know, someone to know.

Once at his bed he opened his guitar case and removed the most beautiful and prized of his possessions. Carefully he played a few notes, testing the thing for proper tuning. This done he played randomly, letting his mind wander and his heart weep. Squall: the only person who was achingly honest when he said he cared that Nida existed.

Nida loved him for that, and for so many other things. His mind screamed that Squall could help, and his body ached for the touch of the other. Yet his soul held him back. It was broken and ripped to shreds. It was tired of being 'perfect' and even refused to be it for the man he loved.

As his mind turned to his pain, his fingers failed him and played the wrong cord. Quickly Nida dropped the instrument upon the bed, his whole body shaking. Seconds before he had heard Squall's small personal transport take off. Nida had taught Squall to fly the two person transport himself, and he reveled in every second with the man he loved. But now that Squall was gone, and wouldn't be back until he realized that Nida had not returned to Garden like ordered…

Nida rose and moved to the small bathroom. Good thing Squall hadn't been in here. A sharp dagger, confiscated from student who had been playing with it in class, rested on the sink, waiting for him. Today he would finally end it. Two cuts to each wrist, deep and amazingly sure because of how quickly he did this. So simple really, not even a note or tearful goodbye. Only the draining of blood, the relief of his pain, and the cool tingle of cure washing over him. Wait, cure? That wasn't right. There wasn't supposed to be this, not again.

Emerald eyes opened and met eyes that were stormy like a hurricane for their worry.

"Squall," Nida gasped, "You left."

"Autopilot," the SeeD whispered before grabbing the nearby knife and throwing it at the wooden walls. Such was the force behind the throw because of his desperation, the small blade sunk deep into the wood, almost to the hilt.

"Damn," Nida whispered before passing out.

* * *

"He'll be fine Squall," came the voice of the doctor through the video communications.

"Why didn't you tell me the first time?"

"I didn't think I had to tell a seven year old Squall about Nida trying to hurt himself."

"That long?" Squall gasped. So many years…

"Yes Squall, that long. Even his most recent attempt was kept from you because I keep the confidence of my patients."

"How many times?" the Headmaster demanded.

"At least once a year I believe, rather close to his birthday. Some years twice, the second time always seeming to occur when you were badly injured or, more recently, when you became 'officially involved' with someone."

"And you wouldn't let me know?" he hissed into the com, careful not to wake the slumbering Nida.

"No Squall, I did not let you know. Will you please get over it and take care of our wayward pilot?"

The Headmaster sighed as Kadowaki terminated the call. Slowly the hero turned to regard his charge. Nida lay on a cot here in the quiet room aboard the Ragnarok. It really made no sense to him. Why would Nida want to die? He was smart, strong, cute and everyone loved him.

But that was it, wasn't it? Nida was 'perfection', and had too much riding on that. It was what everyone wanted and needed. It was expected of him, and Nida needed to comply. Squall knew a bit of these pressures. After the war his every move was inspected. He too had been expected to be perfect. Except, unlike Nida, he told everyone to fuck off.

"Damn Nida, why didn't I realize it? Why didn't you tell me? I would have understood. I would have helped you."

"No, you couldn't understand," Nida replied with a groan, his eyes still closed. The asian slowly sat up. "Where am I?"

"The Ragnarok. I am taking you back to Garden. Doc K wants to check you out in person."

"Why did you come back Squall?" Nida asked.

"I couldn't let you die."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: What a bad week. Must blow up people that treat me bad.  
Once more the italics are the lyrics I wrote for Nida. The name of this one is 'Breaking'.  
The Guardian Scanner is MY idea, as for permission if you, for some ungodly reason, wish to use it.

2sidez-Samecoin: Perfect timing on your part. I needed the reinforcement.

Bradley Scot C.: Well, it is always nice to see the newbies of giving me well deserved appreciation.

Chapter 3

Nida had disappeared from the Infirmary after two days, and Doctor Kadowaki had sent Squall himself out looking. Squall figured that the aviator had fled once more to his hidey-hole, the only place in Garden where they couldn't find him. But, lucky for Squall, the youth's GFs had been taken away and Doctor K had been wise enough to slip a special, harmless chemical that GFs could sense with some help into Nida's blood stream. Had Nida a GF the being would mask or remove the chemical, but as it was…

It wasn't often that Squall used a Guardian Scanner, but it was times like these he was thankful for them. With the device developed in Esthar one could channel magic more effectively. By coaxing a Guardian into the Scanner and placing a scan stone into it, one could use the mixed power to scan large areas for small things… Like searching Garden for the chemical that would lead to the missing Nida.

Squall followed the chime sound given by the scanner, mentally begging forgiveness from Shiva because of her involvement with the abnormal task. Shiva assured him that it was alright as a sound indicated Nida was above him. Squall was in his office and knew of no higher place.

'The wall… Check the wall.' Shiva prompted. Squall started to knock upon the paneling in the office and froze when he heard a hollow sound. Soon Squall had pushed aside the panel to reveal an old lift that was obvious in working condition. Someone took care of this thing… Nida.

Squall shut off the scanner and coaxed Shiva back to her place as a junction. Then he boarded and rode the lift up.

The Headmaster was deposited behind some boxes and machinery, but his sharp eyes easily found the path through. Soon he was climbing over, around and under boxes, moving through the hidden maze. Finally he was free and his eyes came upon the long hidden sanctuary of Nida Nomura. There was a cot nearby, and personal affects like pictures, the SeeD's weapon and his uniform were close to the cot. Yet Nida was not there. The asian youth was, to Squall's surprise, on an outdoor observation deck.

In his lap Nida cradled an acoustic guitar. Around him were pages of sheet music, each bearing different marks donating the instrument part written upon it. In front of Nida was the page for the acoustic guitar and one for vocals. Squall had stumbled upon the younger male composing. From the wrinkled state of the loose t-shirt and pants on him Nida had been there for hours. Still, the male seemed to have allowed himself the small luxury of changing from infirmary clothes to his own clothes.

The male seemed so intent upon his guitar that he didn't notice the Headmaster. Squall noticed him though, the paleness of his flesh, the cloudy eyes, the newest white scars on the inside of his wrists. And despite all of that, Nida was beautiful.

"_I saw you, On the worst day, Of my entire life, Didn't know what to say,_" Nida sang, his voice a sweet tenor, as his hands coaxed beautiful music from the guitar to accompany him.

"_You had brown hair, Hangin' down in your eyes, Eyes that held no lies, What more can I say?_" the voice continued, the tone confident and joyous. Yet the tone suddenly took a serious turn.

"_You wore a frown, Upon your lovely face, And there it had no place, But what could I say? Then it happened, You were smilin', But it was not for me, Yet this I wouldn't see._"

'He's in love,' Squall suddenly realized, 'But who is the lucky girl?'

"_You were in love, But just not with me, And they were wrong for you, Least that is what I see. My heart was broken, But you didn't know it, So I just let it bleed, Why can't you see?_"

'My heart cries for you Nida," Squall thought to himself. 'Was this what drove you over the edge?'

Nida's song grew slower, regretful, wishful and loving all at once, "_You were happy, It's good enough for me, Somehow I'll get by, Just don't know why. Someday you'll hear my song, And you'll realize I sing for you, You won't know what to do, So you'll just ask why. Maybe you'll understand, That I fell for you, How will you react, Please don't ask me why._"

Squall's heart caught in his throat. Nida wasn't singing this song for some perky brunette girl. Nida was singing for him…

The song grew less wishful now, sorrow starting to fill every word, "_I wrote this song for you, To tell you of my love, Because I can't say it, For inside I'm breaking. I love you, Forever and always, But you can't love me back, Can't you see I'm breaking? I say goodbye, Hope not to cry, Find forever that, I'm still breaking. Oh I'm still breaking. Yes I'm still… breaking._"

The guitar trailed off with Nida's voice, and a tear slid down his cheek. Squall wanted to run to the pilot's side and hold him lovingly in his arms. But his cold demeanor would not allow for that.

Nida looked up suddenly, his eyes fearful as they met Squall's. The look in Squall's eyes, beyond that ice, was one of pain and longing.

"Squall," he gasped in shock, almost letting the guitar fall from his hands.

"Nida," the Headmaster said, his eyes softening, the ice melting. "That was beautiful."

"How did you get up here?" he demanded.

"Lift."

"How did you find it?"

"Checked my paneling."

"Why?"

"Shiva said so."

"How did she know?"

"Guardian Scanner."

"Why were you using one?"

"To find you."

"Why?"

"Doctor K said you were missing."

"Why did she send you?"

"Because she knew I'd want to find you," the older male spoke, suddenly sure of it himself. "It was a beautiful song. You should be in a band."

"You… You weren't supposed to hear that."

"I figured as much. You're going to have that band, Infinity, sing it, right?"

"How did you guess?"

"The sheet music for the drums, electric guitar, bass, keyboard…" Squall trailed off.

"Oh," Nida said quickly, gathering up the sheets of music. His cheeks were turning distinctly red.

"How many songs have you written for them?"

"The better question is how many do they write for themselves," Nida responded, slowly standing and stuffing the sheet music into a nearby manila envelope and sealing it.

"That many? And they haven't asked you to be part of the band? I mean, their singer is okay and all, but you're better and you write a part for your guitar by they never use it…"

"They want me to join. They leave the part they want me to take open. The music sounds…"

"Incomplete without it?" Squall offered.

"Yeah," Nida said softly, hesitantly, before picking up the guitar and moving to its case by the bed.

"Can I help you with that?"

"Yeah, could you put that envelope in the mail? It has the address and stamps on it already." Nida asked, though he sounded nervous.

Squall nodded and went for the envelope. "So, why don't you join them? Hyne knows you need it, and you seem to want it."

"I have obligations here," Nida responded as he snapped the case closed and stowed it under the bed.

"We can find someone to do it Nida. You should follow your dreams."

"And what if I already am?"

There was silence from both parties until Squall hastily spoke, "How did you find this place, and how long have you been coming here?"

"Five years," Nida supplied, "And I stumbled upon it while trying to get away from my problems. It is so free, it's like I'm really flying at times, and until now, no one has found it."

"Sorry," Squall mumbled.

"It's okay. I guess that if anyone found it, it is better you did than someone else."

Silence once more, before Squall moved up behind Nida and placed a hand on his shoulder. The asian whirled quickly, but the action resulted in him paling further, his eyes looking drained. The man stumbled a step, looking dizzy. Squall swore, realizing that Nida had overtaxed himself and caught the weakened SeeD as he fell. Slowly he lifted Nida and placed the fallen man upon the cot. Then he pulled out a phone to call the Doctor.

* * *

Nida awoke in the familiar warmth of his cot, a wet cloth upon his head and the head of a slumbering Squall resting hear his hand. The asian was shocked, and could only assume how this happened. He had probably fainted and Squall had helped him. But how long had he been out?

"Nida," Squall moaned softly in his sleep, his hand reaching across the bed to touch Nida.

The asian blushed and hesitantly ran a hand through the hair of his twice savoir and helper. Squall stirred not long after this, his eyes opening and catching Nida in the act. Yet instead of leaving because of shock and disgust, Squall stayed where he was, even leaning into the contact. Despite the fear, Nida did not shy away, enjoying the chance he had to touch the male he was crazy for. His hand slid down to touch Squall's scar and was amazed that Squall smiled at him. Hyne, what a beautiful smile.

"I hope I'm not dreaming," Nida whispered to himself.

"If you are, then I am too," Squall responded, his smile never wavering. "I was worried about you Nida. You've been out all day. The Doc left hours ago."

"You stayed with me? Why?"

"I wish you'd shared that song with me earlier," the Headmaster whispered, "I didn't know."

"How could you?" Nida questioned, "I'm perfect remember? Perfectly alone."

"Not anymore I would hope."

Nida smiled, "Me too…"


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: And here is the happier ending to the story. Please forgive any perceived fluff. Again, italics shows the lyrics to the original song written by me in Nida's POV. This one has no title yet. I'm open to suggestions. At the end is a few lines of perfection edited by Squall.

2sidez-Samecoin: Thanks. This is the end!

"I can't do this," Nida said, his whole body shaking.

"Nida," Squall spoke softly to the elegant asian, "You can to this. I know you can. No one knows this like you do."

"I can't do this," the male repeated, only to feel strong arms wrap around the waist and soft lips press against his neck.

"You can do this. You said that the music felt incomplete, now is your chance to fix that."

"But…" Nida started to protest.

"Nida," Squall said, his tone reprimanding, "These are our friends out there."

"And my students, and all of Garden!" the aviator groaned.

"They are going to love this. And anyone that calls you 'perfect' I will give a detention with Seifer."

"And if Seifer says it?"

"I dock his pay and won't let him win a duel for a month."

Nida smiled and leaned back in Squall's arms. "Thank you… For setting this up."

Squall smiled softly, something he only did for Nida. "Go out there my perfection. Complete the music."

There was an eruption of applause through the door to the stage. Nida, who was dressed in the same loose black pants and shirt from when Squall first heard him sing, looked nervous. Squall placed another kiss upon his boyfriend's throat and watched with a smile as Nida moved onto the wings of the stage. The Headmaster, who had arranged for Infinity to play at the Garden Festival and for Nida to finally join him, smiled and left the dressing room to go to the seat at the Instructors table that Doctor Kadowaki had saved for him.

"Everybody," Jason, the bassist of the band and Nida's cousin, spoke into the mic, a grin on his face. "Everybody, we've got a little secret to share with you. You see, we don't write our own music, and we don't hire someone either. Our music, ALL of it, from the initial sheet music to the lyrics, is written by Balamb Garden's own Instructor Nomura!"

Cheers and applause, some shocked, erupted from the students. Selphie, who was right at the edge of the stage with Irvine was almost screaming.

"Oh, and did I forget to mention that Nida is my cousin?" Jason asked and the screams from the females increased as he winked. "Well, with the help of your Headmaster we've finally convinced Nida to join us on stage."

At this point Nida hesitantly came onto the stage, blushing furiously while moving to pick up his guitar.

"Our normal vocalist, Ryan, has agreed to step aside today and allow Nida to sing a few songs for you. You'll get to hear 'Perfection' from the man who wrote and lived it. You'll tremble when you hear 'Broken', our new hit, sung by Nida because he pours his soul into it. But first, he's going to play a little song for you that no one has ever heard before."

More applause, more cheers as a stool is brought out for Nida. Quickly a roadie fixed a mic for Nida and another for his acoustic guitar.

Silence moved over the partying Garden as the first notes of music flowed out.

"I dedicate this song to my boyfriend. Who saved me from so much…" A gasp of shock came over the crowd and both Squall and Nida blushed, though only Nida's was noticed.

"_In the darkness, A hand reaches out, Brushing so lightly 'gainst my face. In the darkness, Eyes likes beacons shine, Guiding me from bitter ruin. In the darkness, Arms wrap 'round me, Giving me the sanctuary I need. And in the darkness, Two lonely souls Collide._"

Squall was breathless, always was when Nida sang for him. Never had he heard this song before. And Nida was singing it for him, just like Broken. Their eyes me for a brief moment.

"_And through it all my dear, You support me on the way. No matter what I do, I know you're by my side. Forever and a day we swore, But that's what love is for._"

Now the rest of the band had picked up the beat and were as softly as possible backing up Nida's voice and guitar.

"_In the light, A voice like music sings, Calling out to show me way. In the light, Lips like sweet candy, Comfort me through all the pain. In the light, Love of an angel, Always guarding me from sin. And in the light, Two lonely souls Collide._"

As Nida started the chorus again the bang sang slowly after him.

"_And through it all my dear, You support me on the way. No matter what I do, I know you're by my side. Forever and a day we swore, But that's what love is for._"

Nida's voice became hushed and sweet now, "_In my life, Heart of my love, Keeps me from falling again. In my life, Mind of my friend, Helping me through the obstacles. In my life, Body at my side, Holds me safe, warm and calm. And in my life, Two lonely souls Collide._"

Nida, at this point signaled for the band to stop playing, his eyes watching Squall intently.

"_And through it all my dear, You support me on the way. No matter what I do, I know you're by my side. Forever and a day we swore, But that's what love is for._"

Now Nida stopped playing all together, letting only his voice carry the song, "_Life is so hard, But that is what our love is for. And through it all, Two lonely souls… Collide._"

Finally Nida stood and bowed his head, and then the applause began. Squall also jumped to his feet to cheer wholeheartedly for his love.

* * *

Nida was tired and strangely content when, later that night, he was congratulated by the band. Jason threw an arm around his cousin's shoulder and smiled. "You never told me you were…" 

"Your parents and my own gave me a hard time about it," the pilot admitted nervously, "I could only assume that you would too kid."

"Kid! I'm only…"

"Several years my junior. You're a kid still Jason," Nida said. "Thanks for… Not minding about my boyfriend."

"So…" Ryan said with a teasing smile, "It's that guy, Squall, right?"

Nida turned scarlet.

"He's great for you Nida. I've never seen you so happy. It's like suddenly your life really is perfect. And guess what, it gets better… We want you to join the band, permanently…"

The asian froze, "I couldn't."

"Why?" Ke'mel, the keyboard player asked.

"I have obligations here."

"I told you that we wouldn't hold it against you if you left us for a band. I won't hold it against you either Nida," Squall's voice came from the doorway.

The asian male picked up his guitar case, a folder of his music and the bunch of flowers (and phone numbers) that had been thrown onstage while he performed and moved to Squall's side. "No thanks. For once, I'm totally and perfectly happy how I am. And I enjoy some of the things I'm considered 'perfect' at."

Squall blushed as the band laughed. He pulled Nida close and out into the hall.

"_Heard a little story, called it 'perfection', 'bout a man broken inside, and the lover that saved him…_" Squall sang softly, teasing Nida as they headed to Squall's office and to the lift that would carry them to the sanctuary they had turned into a home.


End file.
